chossmonkey.com Blog

The Horse and Pony Show (III 5.12a, 400 feet) was my big climbing project this fall, an effort that took several days. My friend and climbing partner Chris Van Leuven wrote a nice little story about our time on the wall for climbing.com. I haven’t gotten around to writing my own story yet, but I’ll get to it eventually. In the meantime, check out CVL’s article, it’s a humorous and only slightly serious story about our adventure.

Climbing the incredible 140+ foot second pitch (5.11b) of the Horse and Pony Show.

Recently, the New York Times had a nice little article about Fred Beckey.

The article reminded me of a story about Fred Beckey from my good, old friend Darrell. Darrell is a wild one, to say the least. He’s the one who drove straight through from Georgia to Colorado, revved up on can after can of Red Bull. I met him outside my house when he arrived and he promptly popped a couple of Percosets and washed them down with Jack Daniels, straight out of the bottle. Then he said, “I need a drink. Let’s go to the bar.” We headed downtown where he ordered two double scotches on the rocks and a beer and then asked what I would have.
Darrell is a helicopter mechanic for the National Guard and has been stationed in Oregon. Never mind that he won’t fly in any of the Blackhawk helicopters he works on every day, instead referring to them as “crashhawks” and “lawn darts.”

One weekend he sauntered up to a campfire in Smith Rock. Once inside the circle, someone whispered to him, “hey, that’s Fred Beckey over there.” “Fred Fucking Beckey?!” Darrell yelled in astonishment as every head in the circle turned in his direction with a curious glare towards this interesting newcomer.

As the night wore on, Darrell struck up a conversation with Fred and they made plans to climb the next day. The next day, Darrell took the lead on an easy 5.6 or 5.7 multi-pitch climb and promptly marched up the climb. 20, 30, 40 feet Darrell climbed without a piece of protection. Fred called up, “how about placing some pro?” “Oh yeah, just a second.” At 50 feet with still no pro, Fred called up, “how about that pro?” “Yep, just a second.” With another 10 feet, Darrell showed no sign of placing gear and this is when Fred tugged on the rope and said, “place some damn pro Darrell!” Finally, he relented. I asked Darrell why he was obsessed with purposely running it out. “Because I was climbing with Fred Beckey,” as if that were explanation enough.

When it was Fred’s turn to come up the pitch, Darrell described to me the tightest belay he had ever given to anyone, ever. I asked him why he felt the need to give such a tight belay to the living legend Fred Beckey, the prominent first ascentionist and mountaineer extradorinaire. “Dude, he’s like 80 and I didn’t want to be known as the guy who broke Fred Beckey’s hip!”

Drilling away at our project.
After a busy fall, life is starting to feel more mellow now and I find myself spending more time reading books by the fire and surfing the net. It wasn’t that long ago that we finally finished our project, The Horse and Pony Show, a 400-foot 5-pitch 5.12a in Glenwood Canyon. It took several days of effort; cleaning loose rock, brushing holds, drilling bolts and redpointing the pitches. I had a great time establishing this route and I’m hungry to do more of long route development.

I’ll write a full story when I get a chance and the way this winter is going, it should be soon.

I’ve been busy on the choss lately. Yesterday we spent the day pioneering a new 500-foot route on a big face in Glenwood Canyon. I think it will turn out to be a great route with good, solid rock that is well-protected. It won’t even qualify as a “choss route” except for the fact that it’s on the same face as a few other local choss classics. The classic quote from the day came from the approach, which was pretty adventurous in itself, “I just want to get away from this f#%*ing death.” More on that later.

A couple weekends ago I climbed a big, mega-choss, mega-classic route in Glenwood Canyon, The International. The FA was done by Michael Kennedy and Harvey Carter and the FFA was by Kennedy and Jeff Lowe. We felt like we were walking in the footsteps of giants, so to speak, although trembling and crawling was also invovled. Anyway, it is possible we did the second continuous, free ascent of the route and we wrote a little article about our adventure for climbing.com. Check it out.

My summer has been filled with grand peaks, big walls, and outstanding pitches. The Nose was a big highlight, as was Positive Vibrations, and an endless sea of granite in Tuolumne didn’t. There are too many great things to list, so go to mikeandjoy.net to see pictures and read stories of where I’ve been this summer.

While my summer isn’t over, it’s starting to wind down with about 10 days left. Yesterday I attempted the East Ridge of Nez Perce in Grand Teton National Park with my father-in-law. We underestimated how long of a ridge it is and turned around. Hopefully we’ll get another chance at some high peaks in the Tetons and if not, I know my psyche will still be running high long after I return home.

The Nose. You say the Nose around any group of climbers and they instantly know what you’re talking about. It’s one of the most talked about and sought after routes in the world. Many people describe it as the best climb in the world and it is almost certainly the most famous climb in the world. Having now climbed it, I can’t believe how long I waited to climb it because it was as good or better than everything I had ever heard.

Read the rest here.

Joy, free soloing high on the Grand Teton, Upper Exum route.

One of my goals for this summer is completing a 24-hour ascent of the Grand Traverse in the Tetons. My wife and I share an interest in speedy alpine climbing ascents as it combines running and climbing, two of our strengths and loves, not to mention preference for being in the alpine realm. I ran across this article by Rolando Garibotti, concerning his record setting attempt on the Grand Traverse. He describes how it was the last time he ran due to severe hip pain caused by dysplasia. We are fortunate enough to be currently running marathons and ultramarathons with little or no pain in our joints and this summer may be great timing for us to complete the Grand Traverse as well as other goals like the Evolution Traverse in the Sierras. This spring I have been climbing stronger and running more miles than I have been in years. Hence, it is an understatement to say that we are super excited for what the summer holds.
By the way, here’s an old story (2006) of our one day ascent of the Grand Teton via the Upper Exum.

Here are a bunch of fun photos from the past couple weeks. We’ve had great weather for climbing and other outdoor pursuits.

Who’s that sexy dude on the banner? The 5Point Film Festival, held May 7-10, was outstanding.

Joe climbing The Ride For Life (5.11c) at a “secret”, soon-to-be-revealed location.

Steep pulls on good stone, The Ride For Life.

Again, The Ride For Life. Destined for classic status.

Amy climbing Stopped Short (5.11a).

Joy climbing May and Everything After (5.11a) at Thompson Creek.

Gorgeous Thompson Creek.

Joe climbing Johnny’s First Time (5.12a).

Amy surrounded by a sea of gorgeous stone on Laeser Vision, (5.12a).

Oh, my wife, my sweet beloved wife. She’s a climber and rock solid but she doesn’t like climbing new routes. She likes the nice, friendly, clean routes. And, I don’t blame her one bit. So, it was with great excitement that I persuaded her to meet me at one of my latest “project” crags for a first ascent party. I had prepped, cleaned, bolted and sussed four routes and started on a few others. On Friday afternoon, she scooted out after work to the latest crag, affectionately known as the Quartzite Wasteland for some belay duty and climbing on my new routes.

Charcoal Burger Daydream

We started out on a fun, juggy 5.7 arete. I didn’t spend a lot of time climbing it so she wasn’t super impressed. Okay, I thought, hopefully the next one will make up for it. Unfortunately, the next one also wasn’t super clean and it was a lot harder, about mid-5.11, maybe harder. I blew my first attempt at the send but quickly lowered and went back up for a second go. When it was her time I was nervous because for me (6′2″) the crux move is a desperately long reach from a large pinch. I wasn’t sure how she (5′5″) would do and if she would just scold me for putting up a “tall man’s climb.” Instead, she had a great time and spent time working out her own sequence.

El Lagarto Borracho

Next up, were two long routes, both 100 feet with a good mix of gear and bolts. I’m always nervous about what other people will think of my “projects.” I mean, what if they suck and they end up being a waste of time, bolts, and cleaning? And, considering that my wife handles our checkbook you could see about 100 dollars of bolts in that cliff, I was a little nervous about my “spending habits.” Thankfully, I sent each and both got the big stamp of approval from my wife, and “three stars” at that! Of course, I didn’t ask her if it was 3 out of 10 or 3 out of 4, but I’ll assume it was the latter. And, she helped me name the routes, which is always the hardest part: Interstate Love Song, Twig and Berries, Charcoal Burger Daydream, and El Lagarto Borracho (”The Drunken Lizard). With those routes completed, it brought my FA total for the year to 14. Can’t wait to share this area with others and will try to do so soon! (Need to work on a better approach.)
Afterwards, we gobbled up burgers, fries, and shakes from the Charcoal Burger (hence, the name) with dirty hands, completing one of my favorite date nights ever!

It was a busy weekend for me as I went on a first ascent frenzy on Sunday, putting up four new routes in one day, making for five new routes for the weekend. Typically, if you put in two new routes in a day you’re pretty psyched and as evidenced on Saturday, a lot of time can be put in one route. It took several hours to clean, find gear and bolt one 115 foot pitch on Saturday.

Sunday, things were a little easier. I’ve been quietly putting up routes in this area for over five years but putting up routes by yourself is hard. Having BJ there was a huge help, not only in muscle power, but also in the psyche and motivation he brought. There were a couple of lines that I had looked at, messed around on and contemplated, but never found the gumption to get the work done solo.

We started out by climbing a couple of the established lines and then we got to work. I had previously cleaned and climbed a nice crack in a corner. At the top the line steepens and I planned on placing bolts on the face to create a cool, hard finish. Somehow my vision a couple years ago was drastically different than today. I had already placed one bolt at the top, but I realized the error of my ways and pulled the hanger and decided to do the whole route on gear. Hence, Bolt Be Gone, went down quickly. I feel stupid and embarrassed that I placed a bolt where a cam can be placed in a horizontal. Hopefully it’s a lesson learned and at least I can admit my mistakes and do what I can to return the route to its original, natural state (although I realize the bolt hole will always be there, even with a good patch job).
Next, we focused our efforts on two steep lines that I had drooled over and dreamed about for a few years. With BJ there, we were able to work out the best starting beta possible and quickly both routes went in. Both routes are proud routes for me. A hard, technical, balance-dependent start leads to an overhanging arete. I botched my first attempt at leading the route when my forearms flamed out at the 4th bolt, having missed some key beta. After a rest, I sent next go, utilizing a large death flake on the route. No amount of prying, hammering and effort could get the thing to budge. It appears to be totally wedged and secured to the wall, despite its ominous look. If it were to come off it would give a climber The Ride For Life, hence the name of the route. In all seriousness, you can climb around the flake and we may put in another effort at removing the flake. But, it may just be part of the route as it refused to go anywhere. The next two routes went in quickly and I was able to send first go. The other steep route involved a serious lock off on overhanging rock with a move that was at the limit of my +2 or 3 ape index and 6′2″ height. Sorry in advance to all of the shorter climbers. The last climb was a variation on an existing route that I had first bolted a few years ago but never finished. Poor BJ was glad to climb, clean and bolt but in early season form he wasn’t quite ready to lead these 5.11 climbs. Don’t worry, BJ will get plenty of his own this year, as he always does.

Climbing on and working out the moves on a new, steep route.

P.S. Soon, we’ll release the beta on this outstanding crag now that it’s getting a worthy number of climbs and the approach is getting worked out. So, don’t worry, I’m not going to spray and keep secrets. I’m really excited to share it with everyone. If you can’t wait, contact me and I’ll share.